His Greatest Pain Read online

  Going into the shower room he got undressed and turned on the tap, waiting for it to heat up before stepping inside. The water helped his sore muscles, washed away the sweat, but did nothing to help his anger. And then he thought about her, all wet and slick as she showered with him. Of course she never had, but the image of what she’d look like naked, waiting, needy for him, slammed into Ace’s head with so much force he braced a hand on the tiled wall before him. His cock jerked forward, punched out hard and demanding, and he felt like a sick fucking bastard. He shouldn’t be thinking about Lauren when he was juiced up like this, needing a fight to feel pain and give it.

  Groaning in frustration he quickly washed, stepped out and toweled dried off, then went over to his bag and got dressed. He’d work until he was exhausted, spend the evening with her and enjoying the light she shed on his darkness, and he hoped he’d be able to control himself enough that he didn’t ruin what he already had with her.

  ****

  Lauren stirred the cream sauce that would go over the chicken. She tasted it, wrinkled her nose, and added more salt. She made dinner for Ace several times a week, not because she had to, but because she wanted to. She had other friends she spent time with, had the bookstore she helped manage with her mother, but Ace was her one true connection in this world, as strange and ridiculous as that might sound to some people.

  They’d gone through a lot over the many years they’d been together. There had been ups and downs, times where she grew frustrated that he couldn’t help himself to move forward. But then she told herself she’d never experienced what he had, and getting frustrated with him was not what she should be doing.

  After making sure the table was set, turning off the oven but letting the food stay in there to warm, she went into the bathroom to clean up. She had her long strawberry blonde hair up in a messy bun, had sauce on her cheek and neck, and quickly cleaned off her face with some water. The truth was she didn’t just do these dinners because Ace was her friend. Her love for him had grown over the years, and she hoped that maybe one day things would progress. But Lauren also didn’t want to ruin what they had.

  So she’d take her time with things, let him lead the way, and if he ever wanted to move things along to a more intimate level she’d tell him this was what she’d been waiting for.

  Lauren dried off her face, then let her hair down but put it in a loose braid. After she finished putting on a little eye makeup, she heard the sound of Ace pulling into the driveway. Leaving the bathroom she watched him through the living room window as he climbed out of his vehicle, all six-foot-three inches of him. Even though he worked as a construction contractor and did hard labor, he also worked out religiously. She knew it wasn’t just to keep in shape, but the fact he needed that release to help calm the darkness in him.

  He walked toward her front door, his big body moving like some kind of damn wild animal. Yeah, she’d gone there, but it was true. In the last four years he’d gotten his tattoos finished, meaning he now had full sleeves on both of his arms, and even the majority of his chest was covered. She hated that he felt the need to try to cover up what had happened, but she also knew why he had to do it. Ace needed that for himself.

  She opened the door before he even reached it, and her smile faded when she saw the look on his face. He was in one of those moods. It was the kind that she’d witnessed hundreds of times over the years, the kind that pulled him down and held on tight. He was depressed, living in the past, and she could see how tense his body was. Sometimes this happened, not always, but when it did she knew that what he needed was to know he wasn’t alone. Some people wouldn’t have stuck around, wouldn’t have bothered with a man they saw as “too damaged” to be loved. But Lauren saw something so special and warm in Ace, and to her he was the one for her.

  “Hey, Poppy.”

  She smiled at the term of endearment he called her on occasion. Poppies were her favorite flower, and when he’d found that out years ago he had started calling her that. It made her feel warm and fuzzy, made her feel even closer to him.

  He came up to the front door and smiled, just a sad smile that barely had the corner of his mouth lifting. She looked down at his knuckles, saw they were bruised and scabbed over, and knew that over the last couple of days he’d been fighting extra hard. He was either not protecting himself at the gym, or he was doing the back alley bare-knuckle fighting.

  “Ace—”

  “Not now, Poppy.” He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, and then moved past her and into the house.

  She shut the door, and before he could move away from her anymore, she reached out and grabbed his hand. He looked over his shoulder, stared down at her hand, and she saw and heard him swallow. “Come here, Ace.” She tugged on his hand until he turned around and moved toward her again. Looking up at him, she reached up and brushed her hand over his forehead, moving the short hair back, but smiling when it fell right back into place. “You know I don’t want the negative stuff in the house.” It might sound stupid to have a rule like that, but she’d seen the difference it made in him.

  “You’re right, and I’m sorry.”

  He exhaled, nodded, and pulled her in for a hug. They just held each other for what felt like forever, and when Ace placed his hand on the back of her head, holding her to the center of his chest, she closed her eyes and just absorbed the feeling of having him close. “I wish I could make you happy all the time, Ace.”

  He pulled back, this pained expression on his face. “Poppy.” He closed his eyes, “God, please don’t say shit like that.” He opened his eyes, the startling green piercing right through her. “If not for you I don’t even know where I’d be.” He clenched his jaw, the light stubble on his cheeks dark, just like the short hair on his head. “That’s not true. I know exactly where I’d be.”

  They didn’t say anything after that, neither saying what or where he’d be if things had been different. After she’d finished school and had her own place Ace had already gotten on his feet, had a nice place in a better area of town, and she knew that he was in a good place in his life right now, at least on the outside, and doing better than he’d been in a long time. Now she stayed close, kept him close, and things had been good. Maybe one of these days she’d be able to tell him how she felt, but until then she’d enjoy the once in a lifetime friendship she had with this man.

  “Come on, let’s eat.” She pulled out of his hold, and chuckled when he pulled her in for one more big hug.

  “You smell so good.” He inhaled. “You always smell so good, like sugar cookies.”

  She chuckled, and when he let her go she went into the dining room. Her apartment was small, but it was in a nice neighborhood. She was comfortable, and she was able to have Ace come over all the time. But Lauren knew there would be a time when he eventually found someone, a nice woman that could give him everything he needed and wanted. And she honestly didn’t know what she’d do when that day came.

  Chapter Two

  “This place is packed,” Lauren said loudly, as the music was pretty damn extreme.

  Ace grabbed her hand and pulled her closer, not liking that he noticed a bunch of fuckers already staring at her. They’d decided to go out to a bar that had a local band playing tonight. Well, Lauren had decided to go and had asked him to come. Ace preferred staying in, preferably with her, but there were times he went out, like when he’d went to see his longtime friend Toby, who had just lost his dad. They’d gotten trashed, but it had been good for both of them to forget about the negative shit their old men had laid on them.

  He scanned the room, trying to find a place for them to sit.

  “Over there, Ace.” She pointed to an empty table in the corner, and then started pulling him through the crowd. A bunch of assholes turned and checked Lauren out. She was hot, no doubt about it, especially with the long skirt she wore that molded to her ass, and the shirt she wore that showed her perfect, big breasts, ones he’d jerked off to many time like a damn pervert.

  He shook his head, glared at one asshole that was checking her out especially hard, and when the guy lifted his brows and held up a hand, Ace felt a little bit of pride at the surrender. She wasn’t his, maybe would never be his, but that didn’t mean he liked other pricks checking her out lewdly, like she was just a hole they could stick their dick in.

  They sat down at the table, and no more than five minutes later the band came on stage. The crowd went wild, and Ace knew that many of the people here knew the band personally. He’d heard of them around town, but he wasn’t into these closed places where everyone was crammed in like damn sardines.

  He glanced at Lauren, saw her ordering some drinks from the waitress Ace hadn’t even seen walk up, and when they were alone she learned forward and smiled wider.

  “I know you hate going to things like this, but I’m glad I was able to get you to come. I love hanging out with you.”

  He couldn’t help but smile, too. She was just so damn optimistic, so positive all the time, that even when he was in his dark moments and she was near he couldn’t help but feel the light that came from her. “You could ask me anything and you know I’ll give it to you.” And that was the truth.

  She smiled even wider, showing off her straight white teeth, and grabbed his hand and squeezed it. They stared at each other for a few seconds. Then the lights dimmed and the music started playing. It wasn’t music he particularly liked, but Lauren was singing along to it, and that made this all worth it. He looked at her hair, the long strawberry blonde colored strands that she’d curled at the ends and clipped up. The tiny diamond stud in her nose glinted when the light caught it. God, she was so fucking gorgeous, and all he wanted to do was be able to call her his.

  After about another ten minutes and three songs later, he excused himself to the bathroom. Once inside he looked at himself in the cracked and dirty mirror. He scrubbed a hand over his hair, moved it down his face, and scratched at his cheek. His tattoos could be seen under the collar of his shirt, snaking up his neck and moving to his shoulder and back His arms and chest, even his back was covered in ink, something he’d done to try to black out his past, hide his former life so he wasn’t constantly reminded of it when he looked down at his flesh. But that was his former life, a world totally unlike what he was living now. But it was hard to erase his memories, to just forget. He tried. Dammit, did he try, though.

  After his old man died of a pill overdose, Ace had a lot of guilt on his plate. Ace knew it wasn’t his that his dad was an abusing piece of shit. But that didn’t make the emotions that came forth over the past any less real. Over time he’d realized that shit happened that was out of his control. His old man had been a drunk, a nasty fucking asshole that had thought beating up on his son, even at a young, vulnerable age, was an okay thing to do.

  He pushed those thoughts out of his head and used the bathroom. After he washed his hands he stared at himself again, wondering what would happen if he just grew some balls and told Lauren how he felt about her. His biggest fear was that things wouldn’t be the same, and that she’d say friends was all they could be. She knew more about him than anyone, and surely that fucked up shit had to have impacted her at some point, and at some level.

  The door to the bathroom opened, and a few guys came in, their slurred, loud words telling him they were trashed.

  “Dude, did you see that girl dancing up by the stage?” one of the guys said.

  “The one with the big fucking tits and ass that pops? How could I miss her? I don’t think any dude with fucking eyes could miss that hot piece of ass.”

  They both started chuckling.

  “Damn, I’d like to stick my dick so far in her cunt she would be choking on it.” The guys grinned.

  Ace faced them, crossed his arms, and waited for them to try to say some shit to him. “You two assholes should watch your damn mouths. Show some motherfucking respect.”

  They turned and looked at him, their eyes widening when they clearly saw he could hold his own. Then they turned and left the bathroom without even going.

  God, those two motherfuckers. It was hard not to think about a beautiful woman. Hell, he did it all the time about Lauren. But to boast about it in a dirty fucking men’s room? Fuck no. Now, he needed to go out there and make sure Lauren was safe, because who in the hell knew what dick was trying to move in on her.

  ****

  Lauren swayed to the music, the noise loud and the singing all around her filling her head. She knew Ace didn’t like this scene, but she wanted him to experience things with her. She’d definitely go some place with him if he asked, even if it wasn’t a place she cared about. And it was all because she just wanted to be with him. He consumed her thoughts, and she knew she needed to tell him how she felt. If she kept it in anymore she’d surely suffocate on it all. She just hoped it didn’t tarnish things between them, because she’d rather have him in her life as a friend than as nothing at all.

  People swayed together, grinding on each other, and the scent of sweat filled her nose. The heat was intense, and sweat beaded between her breasts. She started to breathe a little hard, felt dizzy, and knew she should sit and catch her breath. But before she could move a male came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He spun her around, pulled her close to his body, and she felt his erection.

  “I’ve been watching you dance, swaying those nice hips around, being a little cock-tease.”

  She felt herself gag at his nasty beer breath, and the fact he thought it was okay to talk to someone like that. “Learn some manners if you want to pick up a woman, asshole,” she said and tried to push him away. He was drunk as well. Hell, everyone in this place was, but that didn’t mean he could be disrespectful.

  “Come on. I like that you’re so damn thick and curvy, like that you have these big ass tits that I want to lick and suck.”

  God, what a fucking pig. Now she was getting pissed. She shoved him back harder, but he tightened his hold on her arms. “Get the fuck off or you’ll regret it, I swear.”

  He grinned.

  “Smile a little more and I’ll make sure to kick you in the balls so hard your shit will come out of your mouth.” She didn’t mince her words, had taken some self defense classes, and could handle herself if the time called for it.

  He moved backward, called her an uptight bitch, and turned around to leave her alone. He moved away from the dance floor and toward the exit, and she watched him, making sure he wasn’t going to try something else.

  Breathing out, she turned and faced the table, saw that Ace wasn’t there, and turned her attention toward the back hallway where the bathrooms were. The tingling in the back of her neck, and the way the hairs on her arms stood up told her she was being watched. She searched the bar, tried to look over people’s heads, and then she saw Ace. His face was a mask of anger, that darkness she saw in him on occasion right there on the surface.

  He was focused on the front, and when she turned her head and saw the man that had been pulling at her and grinding on her start to leave, she knew Ace had seen him. Ace was very protective, and a part of her loved that he cared so much and wanted to protect her, but he also had a lot of rage, and that rage could consume him and burst outward.

  He was clenching his hands at his sides, his big body tense, and his muscles straining under the white t-shirt he wore. He slowly moved forward, keeping his body close the wall as he made his way out of the bar. Her heart thundered in her chest, and she felt her forehead become moist with perspiration. She tried yelling out for him, but the music was just too loud.

  Before he left out of the front door he looked at her again. She lifted her hand, trying to get him to come to her, and to talk to her so she could calm him down. But he shook his head, and walked out. She rushed to grab her purse, because this was going from a perfect evening to a nightmare.

  She just hoped he wasn’t in that spot where he couldn’t focus on anything but fighting.

  Chapter Three

  He was angry, fucking enraged that this little prick thought he could touch a woman that clearly didn’t want to be touched. Not only that but Ace was pissed that he thought he could touch his woman.

  She isn’t your woman. She isn’t yours.

  Maybe, but he also didn’t give a shit. This asshole was going to learn some respect, and Ace would get this frustration out.

  The guy turned the corner and walked toward the side of the building. Ace followed. He rolled his head around his neck, cracked his knuckles, and told himself he should have turned and gone back to Lauren. She shouldn’t be in there alone, but then again he’d seen her following him, and knew she’d come out here sooner rather than later. But even if he hadn’t seen her follow him it was hard as fuck to turn and leave, not when the darkness consumed him right now. He’d been jonesing for a fight since he’d worked out and gone to her house days ago. Being with her helped, but right now he was at the breaking point.

  The guy stopped, placed his hand on the brick wall, and proceeded to get his dick out and piss. Ace clenched his hands into fists, took in a deep breath, and without making this situation worse because Lauren was here he went to turn and go back to her.

  “Hey, you trying to look at my cock, motherfucker?” the guy slurred out.

  Ace rolled his head on his neck again, clenched his jaw, and faced the guy once more. “What did you call me?” Oh, he would have backed off, but he was barely on a razor’s edge as it was, and with that asshole calling him a motherfucker … he wasn’t backing off now.

  Ace took a step closer, and curled his nails into his palms, breathing out slowly through his mouth. “I asked you a question.” His blood was pumping, his body growing warm with the increased blood flow. This was going to be good, really fucking good.