Painkiller Read online

  “Nah, have at it.”

  Max grabbed the tray and pulled it closer to him. Rebel looked around the cafeteria to see if Rosie had stayed, but he knew she hadn’t. Rebecca was staring at him, and he curled his lip and looked away.

  “Dude, she eye fucks you constantly,” Rowley was the one to say. “Be glad you didn’t stick your dick in that psycho. She seems certifiable.”

  Yeah, Rebel saw that. “I’ll ever be drunk enough to go anywhere near that.” If he could just have some balls and talk to Rosie, tell her how she made him feel, and let her in, his life would be a hell of a lot better. He knew that without a fucking doubt. But he also knew he was a pussy for not manning up and doing what was right by her.

  Chapter Five

  Rosie sat outside, the sun bright, the air humid but warm. She closed her eyes for a second and just absorbed the light and heat. Hey, maybe she’d even get a tan sitting out here? She was pale as it was, even pushing the pasty side, but going tanning, or even just handing outside wasn’t what she did. She stayed in a lot, preferred it, and didn’t care that she was a homebody.

  She looked back down at the book she was reading, hating that she couldn’t even control her emotions, and let them get the best of her. It was kind of a silly thing to get upset about, but then again it wasn’t. She looked over to the windows that lined one side of the cafeteria. More times than not, she stayed in when a lot of the seniors headed off school grounds to eat lunch. With not that much time, what was the point? She’d be tagging along with Rebel and his friends, and that wasn’t really what she wanted. No, she could sit and eat, and when she was done come out here and read.

  Looking back at her book, she started to get lost in the plot, but a big shadow was cast across the table and pages, and she exhaled, knowing it was Rebel.

  “I’m sorry I just left like that. I guess I just needed some fresh air.” Looking up, she shielded her eyes with her arm, and sat up straighter when she saw it wasn’t Rebel, but the new guy.

  “Hi,” he said and smirked. “This seat taken?” He gestured to the bench across from her.

  She shook her head. “No, it’s free.” Rosie closed her book and stared at him as he set his backpack on the table and sat down across from her.

  “I’m Charleston, by the way.” He held his hand out for her to shake.

  It was kind of an odd gesture, but she went with it. “I’m Rosie.”

  “Your friend is an asshole,” he said out of the blue, and smirked again.

  He seemed to do that act a lot.

  She felt herself bristle at the insult thrown Rebel’s way. “He’s my stepbrother, and he has good intentions, even if he goes a bit overboard sometime.” There was a second of silence that passed. “But he’s not an asshole.”

  Well, yeah, he can be, but this guy doesn’t have any right to just blurt that out.

  “I’ve pissed you off. I’m sorry,” he said, but there was something about his demeanor that told her he wasn’t sorry at all.

  Arrogance. Yeah, that’s what she got off of him.

  “What are you reading?” He changed the subject and pointed to the now closed book.

  Looking down at it, she shrugged. “It’s just a book for English class.”

  He smiled. “Does it have a title?”

  She chuckled. “Yeah, sorry. People tend to not care about this kind of stuff. It’s Wally Lamb’s She’s Come Undone.”

  He stared at her for a second, the sun behind him and casting this shadow over him. “Is it good?”

  She nodded. “It’s really good, in fact.”

  “What’s it about?”

  She lifted a brow. “Are you really interested or are you just making small talk because Rebel wouldn’t let you sit at their table?” She was teasing.

  He chuckled. “Rebel? That’s his name?”

  “Nickname, but he’s been called that for years.”

  Charleston nodded. “No, I’m really interested in what you’re doing. I noticed you right away in the cafeteria.”

  That had surprise filling her. “What? Really? Why?”

  He started laughing then. “Honestly, I don’t know. I mean you’re very pretty, and I saw you sitting across from those two Hulks, and I don’t know.” He shrugged and grinned wider.

  She felt her face heat. Aside from Rebel no one complimented her, or had ever said she was pretty. She was geeky, she knew that, but she embraced that, loved who she was. But Rosie knew what she was and wasn’t, and a guy like Charleston, who reminded her of Rebel in a lot of ways, seemed like he would appreciate a thinner, prettier girl. Like Rebecca.

  “I’ve embarrassed you,” he said, but he was smiling, as if he found it amusing.

  She started chuckling and nodded. “Yeah, I won’t lie.”

  He sobered, and she did the same by how serious he suddenly got.

  “You shouldn’t be embarrassed. You’re pretty.”

  She cleared her throat and looked at the book again. It was time for her to change the subject now. “It’s about a girl that goes through a lot of difficult times, losing a lot in life, and ultimately finding her way.” She looked at Charleston again. “It’s a great book.”

  “This might be pretty damned forward, but I transferred here because I was having hard time at my last school. I could use some tutoring in some classes, and you seem pretty smart.”

  “You want me to tutor you?” She knitted her brows. “This is your first day. You can’t possibly be failing anything.” She chuckled.

  “Hey, better to be on top of shit, right?”

  “I guess,” Rosie said.

  It was nice to speak to someone about this stuff. She could talk to Rebel about anything, and they did speak a lot, but the truth was Rebel wasn’t interested in any of this. She wished he was, but life didn’t always have a way of going the way someone wanted it to.

  ****

  Rebel had to be in class in the next twenty minutes, but he wanted, needed to talk to Rosie. He hated that she was upset because of him, but he wouldn’t have changed his reaction to Charleston, either.

  He pushed the doors open and stepped outside. The sun’s glare caught him in the eyes, and he turned his head until his vision cleared. Turning his head forward, he scanned the grounds, not seeing Rosie, and was about to head back inside, but then he froze, everything in his body tensing as he saw the new guy sitting with her over at the row of tables. He curled his hands into fists at his sides, and felt his rage and jealousy rise. Rebel knew, right here and right now, this wasn’t about Charleston making his instincts rise up, but the fact a guy was talking to Rosie.

  Rebel loved her, and having some guy, especially some new punk, sitting close to her, making her smile, royally pissed him the fuck off. Making this low sound in the back of his throat, all Rebel saw was red. He shouldn’t have gone toward her, should have been stronger in that regard, because he knew this was going to end up badly. But Rebel couldn’t stop himself.

  And then he saw Charleston reach out and touch her on the hand. He saw Rosie’s cheeks turn red, watched her pull her hand away as her embarrassment came through full force, and he was beside Charleston in the next second.

  Rosie made this startled sound and looked up at him. Rebel stood behind Charleston, the guy not turning around yet.

  “Rebel?” Rosie said softly, but Rebel was now looking at the guy, his anger not dimming as he kept picturing him touching Rosie, even if it was innocently.

  “Can I help you with something, man?” Charleston said, but didn’t bother turning and facing Rebel.

  “Yeah, you can get your ass away from Rosie.”

  And then Rebel saw the corner of the asshole’s mouth lift as he reached out and stroked Rosie’s cheek. “I’ll call you about that tutoring.”

  Rebel grabbed his shoulder, but Charleston was already standing and shrugging off the hold.

  “Watch it, asshole,” Charleston said low enough Rebel didn’t doubt he was the only one to hear.

&nb
sp; “Don’t fucking touch her, look at her, hell, don’t fucking think about her.”

  Charleston smirked, and Rebel wanted to cold cock him right now, just knock the little shit out. But he held back, knowing Rosie was watching this, probably uncomfortable as fuck.

  “I know guys like you.”

  Rebel lifted an eyebrow. “Guys like me?”

  “Guys that rule the school, start shit, and never back down.”

  Well yeah, Rebel wasn’t about to deny any of that.

  “I know guys like you because I’m the same way.” And then Charleston pushed past Rebel and went into the school.

  For a second all Rebel did was stand there and watch the asshole walk away. Yeah, he’d had a bad feeling about Charleston, and now he knew why—because he was just like Rebel.

  He looked at Rosie and saw her eyes were wide, her shock clear. “What the hell was that about?”

  All he did was shake his head, because he didn’t know what to say, or how to explain his jealousy. Being honest was what he wanted, but he was too afraid of it ruining things.

  Chapter Six

  Rosie tapped her pencil on her desk in her bedroom, staring out the window. She couldn’t see anything because of how dark it was outside, and she couldn’t focus because she was thinking about Rebel, and the encounter that happened at school.

  What had gotten into him? Why was he acting like this, seemingly all of a sudden? Did he really dislike Charleston so much that he’d order him not to touch her or even think about her? It seemed extreme, but Rosie also couldn’t lie and say having Rebel so protective didn’t please every part of her.

  But he’d been distant the rest of the day, had dropped her off, but had left right away. What was going on inside of him that he couldn’t talk to her about? Was it the drinking, the partying … God forbid, drugs? She resolved that she’d talk to him tonight, to see what was wrong, make him talk to her, tell her what he was going through. They weren’t just living under the same roof, they were best friends, and she’d remind him of that. They’d known each other nearly their whole lives, and that had to count for something, right?

  But what if it’s a girl? What if he’s found someone and is uncomfortable talking to you about it? What if it’s not just a piece of ass for him?

  She needed to not think about that because she’d just end up driving herself crazy. No, she’d talk to Rebel and that was the end of it. She was tired of pretending, of not thinking she could be happy. If things got weird then they got weird, but not being honest with herself or him was painful. Rosie didn’t want that to be her life, where she regretted what she should have done. What a shitty life she’d lead if she never got her feelings off her chest. She’d at least be able to sleep better at night, even if Rebel didn’t want anything to do with her.

  ****

  I should have just gone home right after work.

  But all Rebel had been able to think about was Rosie and the look of confusion and shock she’d given him when he’d all but beaten fucking Charleston’s ass.

  “We’re here.”

  Rebel glanced over at Mickey, one of the guys he worked with, and the person he’d gone to the bar with afterward. It didn’t matter that he was only eighteen. There were plenty of places around town where he could get a drink because he knew the people. But he wasn’t drunk, just buzzed and trying to forget about all the ways he’d fucked shit up.

  “Thanks for the lift.”

  Mickey nodded. “Anytime.”

  He got out of the car and shut the door, standing there a second and staring at the front of the house. It was late, but even if he’d come home right after work everyone would have been settling down for the evening. He wasn’t full-time at his job, for obvious school reasons, but after he graduated he was going to save up and get his own place. He needed that, needed a place that didn’t remind him of the girl he loved that would no longer be in town.

  Scrubbing a hand over his hair he made his way toward the front door, unlocked it, and went inside. Rebel could have just gone through the basement door and not have to talk to anyone if they were still up, but he secretly hoped he’d run into Rosie. He didn’t know what he’d say, maybe the truth finally, but he wasn’t thinking that far. He just wanted to see her, to touch her…

  Get that out of your fucking head. She’s your best friend, probably sees you as nothing more. If you tell her you’re in love with her she’ll fucking back away and there will be this wall between you two.

  But the house was quiet and still. He went into the kitchen, grabbed a plate of leftovers from the fridge, and took it downstairs. But he stopped at the staircase and looked up, seeing light coming from underneath Rosie’s closed door. He wanted to go talk to her, but common sense told him to leave this alone right now. So, instead of being a man and dealing with this head-on, like he did with most things, he went to the door that led to his room, and left well enough alone.

  But it’s far from fucking well.

  ****

  Rosie found herself leaving her room, walking down the stairs, going to the door that led to the basement, and opening it. She should have called Rebel’s cell phone, given him a heads-up she wanted to talk, even if he was just in the same house as she was. But she was just doing this, and not giving herself time to think about what she should or shouldn’t do.

  Once the door was shut behind her she descended, seeing the light still on. Rounding the corner she didn’t see Rebel at first, but then saw his big shadow coming from the bathroom. Calling out to him and letting him know she was here would have been the right thing to do, but her throat was tight and her mouth dry. She didn’t even know if she could have said anything in that moment for how nervous she was.

  And then he came out of the bathroom, turned the light off, and everything in her stilled. She looked at his body, his chest, which was bare, and the towel that was wrapped around his waist. He’d just gotten out of the shower, and damn did he look good in only that terrycloth. He had his head downcast, but after only a second he lifted it and their gazes clashed.

  “Rosie?” he said her name softly, but in that deep timbered voice of his. He didn’t move, and neither did she, for her nerves were on high alert right now. “What are you doing down here?” he asked sincerely, not upset that she’d just come into his room.

  “I should have let you know I was coming down here,” she managed to say, but she felt like she had no control over herself when it came to Rebel. It’s not like she’d never seen him shirtless before. They’d gone on plenty of family trips during the summer. But right now, knowing why she was down here and what she planned on saying, made this seem so … intimate.

  “You don’t ever have to give me a heads-up. You’re welcome down here anytime.” He smiled and walked over to his dresser, grabbing a pair of sweats. “Give me a minute and I’ll make myself decent.”

  When he faced her it was only for a second before he turned from her. Rosie didn’t miss what he sported … massive fucking wood.

  Oh. My. God.

  He was gone for only a few moments in the bathroom before he came back out, still shirtless, and looking so damn good Rosie felt her cheeks heat, knew she was blushing, and looked away.

  “What’s up?” he asked, his voice tight, as if he, too, were uncomfortable. But that didn’t seem right, not when it concerned Rebel. He always seemed so in control, so with it.

  She looked at him, but forced herself not to check him out, or to see if she’d just been imagining things and had imagined his erection.

  Why would he be hard for me?

  “I wanted to talk,” Rosie blurted out. She wasn’t going to walk around this, because just saying what she needed to say and getting the hell out of here before shit really hit the fan, seemed like the best course of action.

  “Okay,” he said hesitantly. “You want to sit down?”

  She shook her head. No, she needed to be able to leave if he started getting uncomfortable after what she said.
r />   Taking a deep breath, Rosie told herself this was for the best, but there was a little voice in the back of her head that said it wasn’t, that this was a horrible idea.

  A moment of silence passed, and she took another deep breath, willing herself to do this, that it wasn’t the end of the world. This needed to be done, or she’d lose her damn mind. Looking him right in the eye, she could see the worry on his face, but at the moment no words came from her.

  “Rosie,” Rebel said and moved closer to her. “Are you okay?” His brows were knitted in concern. “Someone fuck with you?”

  She saw his nostrils flare as his anger started to rise.

  “Was it that fucking new kid?”

  She shook her head right away. “No, everything is fine. I’m fine.” She saw him visibly relax, and couldn’t help but smile at the fact Rebel was her protector. He was so good to her, her best friend, and the boy she was about to tell she was in love with.

  I can’t keep it in anymore.

  “I’m in love with you,” Rosie managed to blurt out, felt herself grow hot from the awkward sensation coursing through her, and didn’t know what else to say. Rebel didn’t move, didn’t even show emotion aside from the slight widening of his eyes. Seconds ticked by of agonizing silence, but it felt like hours.

  “You’re in love with me?” he asked in a stoic voice.

  She could only nod.

  And then he was right in front of her, his hand cupping the back of her head, and this smile spreading across his face. That’s when Rosie felt this weight lift off her shoulders.

  “You’re happy?” Her voice shook as she asked him the question.

  Rebel closed his eyes and nodded. “Fuck yeah, baby.” When he opened them again the blueness of his eyes was startling. “Because I wanted to tell you I’m in love with you, too.”

  She could feel how hard he was … for her.

  “I’ve fucking loved you for so long, Rosie.”

  She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t even comprehend what was happening. Was this really going on right now?

  “I’ve felt the same way, Rebel.” She barely got the words out because her throat was so tight.