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  “No pressure, Kennedy. I don’t want you to feel like you have to and I certainly don’t want you being uncomfortable. But you are welcome if you change your mind.” He let his hand linger on the back of mine for a suspended moment.

  But then he slowly took it off, as if he were forcing himself. I could almost think that he wanted to keep it there. But again, that might just be wishful thinking.

  “I’ll see you Saturday, yeah?”

  I nodded, not trusting my voice.

  Roman still sat there for a moment, staring at me, our gazes locked. And then he stood and left, and I couldn’t help but watch him leave, wanting to ask him to stay, that I wanted to spend time with him, that I … loved him.

  Why was this so hard? Why did loving Roman have to come with so many complications?

  Or maybe the only complication was the fact that I cared what people thought.

  Chapter Eight

  Roman

  I looked at the clock. Only ten more minutes before this sociology class was let out. I didn’t have a major locked down yet, but it didn’t matter anyway since I had so many prerequisites to get through first. And since I was going part-time it was taking me so fucking long.

  At this rate, an associate’s degree would take me twice as long to get.

  I rubbed my eyes, thinking I should have stayed home today, or maybe picked up some extra hours at the shop. At least I would have been doing something aside from sitting here thinking about Kennedy and all the ways I would screw it up when I finally told her I loved her.

  My head just wasn’t in classes today, not when all I could think about were my plans for Kennedy, and finally having the balls to admit how I felt.

  All I could think about was talking with Kennedy at the library, feeling so damn nervous and how that was so unlike me. I didn’t let shit bother me. But loving a girl that you “shouldn’t” was damn exhausting.

  I told myself if she came to the party I would tell her how I felt, that I wouldn’t wait any longer. I didn’t have to wait until then, but that was the ultimatum I’d given myself, that I would work up the nerve to do it then.

  And if she didn’t come to the party? Then I had to be honest with her regardless. Because holding this all in for the last two years, each day becoming harder than the next, was eating me up. I was done with it, done with the fucks I gave about what anyone thought.

  Class finally let out and I shoved my books in my bag. I headed out, my focus on my cell, wishing I had a missed text from Kennedy. Maybe she’d call me to let me know she was coming. Fuck, I was so far gone for her.

  Just as I was putting my phone away, I ran into someone, my bag being knocked to the ground.

  “Shit, dude. My bad.” Theo’s voice was clear and I looked up at him as I bent to pick up my bag. “You were in one big, fucking hurry.”

  I straightened and looked at Theo. He looked juiced up over something. Excited. I knew he wouldn’t make me wait to ask him. Theo had loose lips, tended to run his mouth when he was eager about something.

  “Got some chicks lined up for Saturday, man. And by chicks, I mean that hot as fuck piece in my American Lit class.”

  I didn’t respond because I didn’t give two fucks about who he was trying to hook up with.

  My disinterest must have been evident because he furrowed his brows.

  “Dude, come on.”

  “Come on what?” I started making my way toward the front doors.

  “Come on. Saturday will be lit as fuck. Hot girls, easy pussy, flowing booze. It’ll be fucking great.”

  I was shaking my head as I pushed open the door. “I don’t need or want some random pussy.”

  “You can’t tell me there isn’t anyone you want.”

  I hesitated a second too long.

  “Ah ha! I knew there was someone. So, who is she? She go to school here?” My silence was getting under his skin, I could tell. “Come on, Rome, who is she?”

  “None of your fucking business.” I made my way across the lawn to the parking lot.

  I got to my truck and unlocked the driver’s side door, pulling it open and tossing my bag across the seat. I climbed in and looked over at Theo, who had a goofy-ass grin on his face as he stared at me, clearly wanting me to tell him more than I was willing to.

  “Is this why you’ve been acting so funky lately?” He lifted his arm and braced it against the doorframe, leaning in slightly, staring at me as if he were trying to read me.

  “Theo, don’t you think if I wanted you to know anything I would’ve told you?” I lifted a brow and tried to shut the door. But Theo blocked me from doing that. I exhaled and stared at him, “Theo, enough fucking around.”

  “She coming to the party Saturday?” He was a little too eager and I was getting pissed.

  “Theo, I need to get the fuck out of here and go home. I need to get some rest before I have to work this evening.” I gave him a point-blank stare, my expression telling him I was done fucking around. He took a step back and held his hands out in surrender. I shut the door, shoved the key in the ignition, and turned over the engine.

  “You can’t keep her secret forever, Rome,” he shouted and I could hear him through the closed window and the rumble of my engine.

  I started heading home, not realizing until I was pulling onto her street that I’d taken the long way home, the way that took me right past Kennedy’s house. I turned onto her street, slowed down marginally, and looked out the passenger side window as I passed her house.

  Her car was in the driveway, the same place the tow truck had put it when it had been dropped off at the house. I saw her dad’s truck beside that. The garage door was closed, so I had to assume that my aunt’s car was in there.

  It was late enough in the day that they’d all be home by now. Kennedy was probably lying on her bed, books open in front of her as she studied.

  I pictured her like that, pushing her glasses up her nose, maybe chewing on the end of her pencil. And just like that my cock got hard. And as I thought about her lifting her hand and moving it through her dark hair, maybe playing with the ends of those locks, the fucker got even stiffer, pressing against my zipper, demanding to get out.

  Fuck.

  I pressed down on the gas and drove quickly past her house. Here I was, too much of a chickenshit to tell her how I felt, but acting like an obsessed bastard as I drove by her house.

  I was a fucking mess, but I guess if I was going to be a wreck what better reason than because I was in love with my step-cousin?

  Ten minutes later I was pulling onto the cracked driveway in front of my garage. The house I rented was decent size, but outdated as shit. It was owned by a friend of Randy’s, and since Randy and I were pretty tight, I got a good deal where rent was concerned.

  I cut the engine, grabbed my bag, and climbed out of the truck. Once inside the house, I tossed my shit in the corner, headed to the fridge, and pulled out a bottle of water. I leaned against the sink as I opened it, staring out the sliding glass doors as I drank half the water in one go.

  I could see cornfields in the distance, owned by the landlord who rented me this house. Although there were a few neighbors around, I had enough space between them to give me a semblance of privacy.

  That didn’t mean they weren’t nosy fuckers, though. Especially the one across the street, where she looked through her blinds any time someone came or went past her house.

  I pushed away from the counter and walked back out into the living room. I made a beeline to one of the only pictures I had sitting on my old-ass chipped and peeling coffee table I’d gotten from Randy before he threw the fucker out.

  I picked it up, staring at Victor, my aunt, my parents, and finally me and Kennedy. She stood beside me, her head barely reaching the top of my chest. It was a family reunion last summer. It had been hot as hell, in the high nineties and humid as fuck.

  We had just gotten done with a water fight, one we hadn’t originally been involved in since it was for th
e younger kids. But when she’d thrown that first water balloon at me it had been on.

  Her hair was soaking, her shirt drenched, and I was no better. But we were both smiling genuinely, her mid-laugh as the picture was taken. It still made my pulse quicken.

  I stared at that picture as if it were a lifeline. The only reason I even kept it out was because it was the only one I had of her.

  Damn, I was so far gone that I was standing in my living room fantasizing about claiming Kennedy all off of looking at her picture.

  There was something wrong with me. Or maybe, just maybe, there was something very right.

  Either way, I was looking forward to manning the fuck up where she was concerned.

  Chapter Nine

  Kennedy

  Saturday morning

  I was breathing hard, my heart racing, my throat dry as I sucked in air. Music blared in my headphones, the ground moving quickly underneath my feet.

  I’d been running for the past half hour, just thinking, letting my mind wander. And all I kept coming back to was the party, thinking about Roman and his invitation for me to go to his place tonight. Although it was probably not as personal as I wanted it to be, a part of me couldn’t help but feel the intimacy in his question, in the way he looked at me.

  And then that small touch of his hand on mine, the feel of his thumb moving along my wrist.

  My heart started racing, which had nothing to do with me running, with the adrenaline pumping through my body, and everything to do with all those touches.

  Sweat covered my forehead and slid down the length of my spine. I was exhausted, but I kept pushing myself. I didn’t want to go home just yet, but I guess it didn’t matter where I was at because all I thought about was what I should and shouldn’t do.

  My music cut off as an incoming call came in. I slowed to a walk, breathing heavily, and dug in my side pocket to pull out my cell. I saw it was Isaac, and I thought about ignoring it until I could catch my breath. But I needed to talk to someone.

  I stopped and braced a hand on my thigh as I caught my breath. I hit the accept button, the sound of static loud in my ear instantly.

  “Isaac, can you roll up your window before you call me? I can’t hear you.” I said those words through the wheezing, and straightened to start heading back home.

  But I walked this time, giving my body a break from the rigorous activity I put it through.

  A second later the static was gone. “Sorry about that,” Isaac chuckled. “What are you doing? Running?”

  “I was, but I’m heading back home now.” I could faintly hear Isaac’s car radio in the background. I knew what I wanted to ask Isaac, but I also had a feeling what he would say.

  Although Isaac was far more popular than I was, he was more of a homebody, just like me. If I asked him to go to the party, he’d probably say no, and I really didn’t want to go by myself. I could admit to being terrified.

  The intimidation of going to a gathering like that was a little bit too much for my introverted self. But I also really wanted to go to see Roman, and a little bit of support beside me would go a long way.

  But even before he called, even though I hadn’t made up my mind ... I think deep down I knew what I would do even if it did scare the shit out of me.

  I was going to that party. I was going to tell Roman how I felt and let the chips fall where they may.

  I mean, what’s the worst that could happen?

  He turns you down.

  Your heart is broken.

  Humiliation.

  And you’ve forever lost the person you’re in love with.

  But life isn’t fully lived if you don’t take risks, right? At least I think I read that in a book somewhere.

  “Listen,” I said and cleared my throat, feeling really nervous because I knew Isaac would wonder why I would want to go to one of these parties. “I was wondering if you have plans tonight?”

  “Plans? Aside from hitting up the coffee shop to work on some school work, you know me well enough to know that I don’t do anything.” He chuckled as if he just told a joke, but the truth was that was our lives in a nutshell. “Why, what’s up? You got big plans?”

  “Well, I actually got invited somewhere and was hoping you could be my plus one.” I grimaced at saying that. It sounded like I was inviting him to a wedding.

  He started chuckling. “Plus one?”

  Although I felt stupid for phrasing it like that, I couldn’t help but smile. Isaac always had a way of helping me get rid of the tenseness I felt. He was just naturally calming.

  Maybe that’s why we got along so well.

  “I actually got invited to a party at Roman’s house.” Isaac was quiet for a moment, and I wondered what he was thinking about.

  Probably about how freaking insane you are to want to go.

  “I don’t know if it’s going to be one of those parties, you know, the drunken booze-fest, or more laid-back—” Isaac snorted. Yeah, I knew it was probably the former type of party. “But I kind of want to go, and was hoping you might wanna tag along with me?”

  “You do know how wild college parties get, don’t you?” I could hear the amusement in his voice. “I may be an introvert by nature, but I have gone to some parties, well, they were high school, but I can imagine college ones are even more rowdy. “

  I was silent as I thought about what he said. Maybe it wasn’t the best place to talk to Roman? Maybe I should just do it today when he came over to work on my car? But that seemed so ridiculous.

  “Hey, Roman. I know you’re fixing my car, but can we talk about how in love I am with you?”

  God, that was so cringe-worthy.

  Or maybe I shouldn’t say anything at all?

  “Is this about a guy?”

  Isaac’s words caught me off guard and I found myself stopping in the middle of the sidewalk.

  “W-What?” That word came stuttering out and I felt my face heat. He couldn’t see me, but I knew Isaac would be able to read the situation even though we were on the phone. He could tell in my voice, no doubt.

  “It is about the mystery guy!” He sounded way too excited about that revelation. “I know I said when you’re ready, but Kennedy, come on, I’m dying here. Who is he? Does he go to the college? Is he in one of your classes? Please tell me he’s not one of those meathead athletic guys. They may look good, but they’re about as smart as a block of cheese.”

  I laughed a little awkwardly. Telling someone about Roman after keeping it in for this long felt like the right thing to do … but was also pretty terrifying. And if I was going to tell someone before Roman, it would have been Isaac.

  “It’s stupid, isn’t it?” I started walking back home again, having made one large loop through town during my run. “Wanting to go and hang out with Roman and his crowd. People will wonder what in the hell I’m doing there.” I felt really dumb now for even asking.

  “You know what, let’s do it. Let’s go, have a kick-ass time, and not care what anyone else thinks.”

  I felt myself smiling and looked down, staring at the sidewalk as I walked. Leave it to Isaac to not make me feel like an idiot.

  “Really?”

  “Yup, really. Maybe it won’t be such a nightmare. But if I’m gonna go with you, will you be my study buddy this afternoon and help me figure out what the hell this trig bullshit is?”

  I chuckled. “Deal. Besides, if the party sucks, I know you won’t let me hear the end of it.”

  He laughed in return. “Nope, you sure won’t.”

  Maybe it was a bad idea, but I wouldn’t know unless I went.

  Chapter Ten

  Roman

  It was one hot fucking day, with the sun beating down on me as I bent under the hood of Kennedy’s car. I lifted my arm and ran it over my forehead, wiping the sweat away.

  I’d been working on her car for the past few hours, and I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t hoped to see her that entire time. The few occasions she’d come outside wa
s to see how I was doing, if I needed any help, which I found utterly adorable. And then she’d disappear again.

  I tightened up one of the bolts, having gotten out the old water pump and put the new one in. I was trying to work it into its place, but the fucker was stubborn.

  But I also couldn’t deny that I was taking my sweet-ass time. I could’ve been done with this an hour ago, but I was dragging my feet, wanting to spend as much time with her as I could.

  I was a sap where she was concerned.

  And she still hadn’t told me about tonight, which I was already assuming was a no-go for her. I couldn’t blame her. The crowd that would be at my place was not one she hung out with. And if I were being honest, they were people I didn’t really want her around anyway.

  She’d get hit on by drunk and rowdy assholes, and the jealousy would no doubt rise up on me so fast that I’d probably end up kicking some guy’s ass because of it.

  I finished tightening another bolt and straightened, bracing my hands on the edges of her car, staring at the work I’d just done. It was fixed, yet I was thinking about the other shit I could do so I would stay close to her.

  I heard the inner garage door open and leaned to the side to see her walking toward me. She had her bag thrown over one shoulder as she texted on her phone.

  “Hey you,” I said and she stopped, lifting her head up and smiling.

  “Hey you back.” She tucked her phone in her bag and walked up to me. Standing beside me, she looked at the engine. I saw the way her brows knitted, and couldn’t help but smirk.

  I wanted to move my finger between her eyes and smooth that confusion away.

  “So, this was the problem?” She pointed to a random spot under the hood and I smiled wider.

  “No, here,” I said as I took her hand gently in mine, moving it over to where the water pump was.

  I might have lingered a little too long with my hand on hers, and when I looked over at her, I could see her body was tense, her throat working as she swallowed. I moved my hand off of hers, my fingers sliding slowly over the back of her wrist.