Lost In You (The Soldiers of Wrath MC) Read online

  “Let’s close out this day with a group talk, have a wonderful dinner with everyone who’s shared your journey thus far, and tomorrow you can go back to the man you love and show him how happy you truly are.” Patty smiled and warmth filled Hannah.

  Yes, she felt it was time for her to go back, to be with Nerd. She just hoped he had waited for her, even if he didn’t have to. She didn’t even know if he’d gotten her letter, because since coming to the retreat she hadn’t spoken to anyone, not even Deanna. The solitude from the outside world was what she’d needed, the talks, and the acceptance from everyone around her who had helped her to come to this point in her life. But she couldn’t stay here forever and didn’t want to. She needed to leave and continue to grow and heal as a person, but she wanted to do that with Nerd by her side.

  The garden Nerd had built had been done for the last week, but he kept finding little things to correct, thing he wanted just right and perfect for when Hannah came back.

  God, it might be an eternity before she returns to me.

  It certainly felt like an eternity already.

  He took a step back and looked at what he’d accomplished with the club’s help. He didn’t need to do this task alone, not when the club was his life, his family. They’d been there for him, made him a better person, and would always accept his faults. But they couldn’t make him whole, not in the way Hannah could.

  And that’s why he’d wait until the end of fucking time for her to come back to him, because no one else compared to her.

  And no one ever will.

  He wiped the sweat from his brow, set the shovel aside, and was about to head back into the club when he heard the gates at the front start to open and a car approach. Turning and lifting his arm to block the sun’s glare from his eyes, he saw it was a taxi. The reaction was instant, and his heart started to race. When the taxi came to a stop just twenty feet from where he stood, he stared at the back doors, waiting to see who would emerge.

  I know who I hope it is.

  His heart was in his throat, and his hands were in tight fists at his sides. And then the back door opened and the only person he would ever love stepped out.

  The first thing he realized was how healthy she looked. Hannah had looked good before, but now she had this glow to her. Everything about him screamed to go to her, to hold her and kiss her senseless. But he stayed back, waiting for her to come to him. Their gazes locked, and then she moved toward him.

  His heart started pounding harder, and everything inside of him came alive. God, he’d missed her so fucking much.

  She stopped in front of him, and for long seconds they just stared at each other. Nerd couldn’t even find a voice at this moment, didn’t even know what to say. She was like the tallest, coldest glass of water, and he was dying of thirst. And then, without thinking about it, he reached out and pulled her against the hardness of his chest. She rested her head right over his heart, and he closed his eyes, feeling so damn good and knowing this was exactly where he was supposed to be, with her, always.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  There was no judging, nothing. Nerd wrapped his arms around her, and Hannah knew she had come home. She was where she needed to be.

  “I missed you so much,” she said, lifting her head up.

  He cupped her cheek, smiling down at her. His fingers moved her hair out of the way, showing off her teardrop earring. “You’ve changed.”

  She stepped back but still held his hand. Wearing a leather jacket, some jeans, a tight black shirt, and a pair of heels, she gave him a little twirl, holding his hand above her head so she didn’t have to let him go. “What do you think?”

  “You’re as beautiful as ever.”

  “I’ve changed but I’m not different.” She chuckled. “I hope that makes sense. I’m the same person I’ve always been. Just a little more healed and a little less broken.” Stepping toward him. “And I’ve been dreaming of this moment for as long as I can remember.” She cupped his face and stood on her tiptoes, pressing her lips against his. Moaning, she closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of his own hands sinking into her hair and holding her close.

  Pressing her body against his, she loved the feel of him around her. This was what she’d been dreaming of, this was her goal the entire time she’d been away. The months had not lessened her need for him. The time apart had highlighted to her how much she needed him in her life.

  “You taste so good,” she said, pulling away and licking her lips.

  “You’re really here.”

  “I’m really here and if you’ll have me, I’d like to stay.”

  “Baby, I wouldn’t have had you leave the first time.” She smiled, and out of the corner of her eye she caught the vast array of color.

  Glancing around him, she saw the luxury garden that had once just been barren land. “What happened?”

  “I, fuck,” he said harshly. “I went off the rails. Did a lot of drinking while you were gone. A lot of drugs as well. It’s not my finest moments of you being away from me, I admit.”

  “Were you with other women?” she asked.

  “None. I wasn’t even tempted. You’re the only woman I’ve wanted from the moment I met you.” He placed her hand over his heart. “I belong to you.”

  “You’ve become even more of a charmer while I’ve been away.”

  “Actually, I’ve become a gardener.”

  “A full-blown gardener?”

  “Not qualified, but I own enough books and DVDs to sink a ship with how much I’ve got. I wanted to keep busy, wanted to have something nice for you when you got back ... if you came back.”

  “You did all of this?”

  “Yep.”

  “You didn’t employ anyone?”

  “Nope.”

  “I helped him,” Striker said.

  Hannah turned to see the rest of the club coming out of the clubhouse. Deanna was holding Ty, who was growing so fast. Amy and Joker were holding each other. Vengeance and Weasel, along with Brock were there. Several others were in the background, and she spotted several of the couples as well. She had called ahead to let Deanna know that she was coming into town.

  “The sucker did all of this for you,” Weasel said. “We told him not to go to the effort. He already had you, and you were coming back.”

  “You were all right.” She looked up at Nerd. “It’s beautiful.”

  “I know. It’s so nice to walk around, and you should see it at night. He’s got nightlights that light up certain features,” Deanna said.

  “It sounds perfect.”

  “Can I have a minute with my girl? She’s only just gotten back and you’re all out here.”

  They all agreed to leave them alone but Hannah wasn’t finished. Releasing Nerd, reluctantly, she made her way toward Weasel.

  “I know what you did was to help your brother, and I accept that. I love Nerd, and I will never do anything to hurt him.”

  “You weren’t ready.”

  “I am now, and even though at the time I thought it was cruel what you did, it helped. Thank you.” Then, in front of the whole club, she hugged Weasel, showing all of them, and Nerd, that she wasn’t as broken as she was.

  Her time with Patty had been everything that she needed, and no one could take what she had earned back.

  She watched the club walk back inside, and she walked right back into Nerd’s arms. He held her close and showed her the garden that he’d created for her.

  “So you stopped drinking and drugs?” she asked.

  “I decided that if you came home at any minute I wanted to do something that showed you that not only did I miss you, but I was thinking about you.”

  “I’m so pleased you waited for me. There were moments when I truly thought you’d move on, and I was scared.” Suddenly he covered her eyes.

  “Don’t panic. I just want to show you something.”

  They kept on walking, and she trusted him as he took her down a path, turning left, then right, t
hen left again. They stopped, and she felt his lips against her neck, making her giggle.

  “Are you ready?”

  “I’m so excited. Is it a surprise?”

  “Of sorts. I did it thinking about you.”

  He dropped his hands, and she gasped. He’d built her a swing surrounded by bushes and flowers. It was like a mini oasis.

  “Wow,” she said, whispering the word.

  “I remembered you liked to be alone, and I thought this would allow you to be alone, and to fly.”

  Hannah moved toward the swing and sat down, closing her eyes at the beauty of the scene. “You really do love me.”

  “More than anything.” He stepped behind her. “Do you trust me?”

  “With my heart, with my life, with my everything.”

  He pulled back the swing and released. She moved forward and as she moved back, he pushed her. The freeness of flying was amazing. What made it more so, she knew Nerd would be right there behind her, ready to catch her.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  They’d had a nice, semi-quiet dinner together, and they now were in the room she’d slept in when she’d been at the MC. To have Nerd lying beside her, his arms wrapped around her body and the scent of him consuming, Hannah felt content, free. She knew what she wanted to do next, though, knew what she wanted with Nerd. She’d gone off and healed herself, or healed herself as much as she could for this time in her life, and she wanted to take the next step.

  “I love you, baby,” he said softly, and she smiled.

  “I love you so much, Nerd.” She turned in his arms so they were facing each other, and the desire she saw on his face was tangible. He cupped her cheek, stroking her bottom lip with his thumb.

  “I would have waited an eternity for you to come back to me.”

  She closed her eyes as pleasure at hearing those words coursed through her. “I didn’t mean to just up and leave.”

  “Shhh, you owe me nothing, not an explanation ... nothing.”

  They stared at each other right in the eyes for several seconds, the silence comfortable, thick between them. Hannah knew what she wanted, and that was Nerd.

  “I’m tired of being afraid, Nerd.” He continued to stroke her lip. “Be with me,” she whispered. “Kiss me.”

  And then he groaned right before he leaned down and placed his mouth on hers. The kiss started off slow, sensual and gentle even, but she wanted more, wanted to feel all of him.

  “I want you,” Hannah found herself saying out loud.

  Nerd leaned down and kissed her again, moaning as he did so. “Are you sure? There isn’t a rush.”

  Hannah swallowed, knowing she didn’t want this to stop, that she wanted Nerd and that she needed to do this not only for herself but their relationship as well. She’d wanted this since the moment she saw him.

  “I haven’t been more sure than I am right now.” She was pressed up against him, loving the possessiveness coming from Nerd. Hannah wanted his hands all over her, taming this fire inside of her. “Be with me,” she whispered against this mouth, and his grunt of a response was all he said before he had his hands on her breasts.

  He was gentle at first, but she wanted Nerd, wanted him to be the real him.

  “I don’t want soft and gentle if that’s not what you want. I want the real you, Nerd.”

  He tightened his hold on her breasts a bit firmer, and a gasp of pleasure filled her.

  “Take it off,” she all but gasped out. Before she knew what was happening he was shifting onto the bed and removing her shirt and bra. Her breasts spilled free, and she felt pleasure coursing through her.

  “Are you sure about this, baby?” he asked again.

  She didn’t even need to think about this. “Yes, Nerd. I am more than sure. I want you. I love you.”

  He groaned and started kissing her neck, licking and sucking at her flesh. While doing that he wedged his hands between their bodies and started getting her pants and panties off.

  Soon she was naked and bared for him and feeling so damn good.

  “Like this, baby?”

  “Yes,” she moaned.

  He cupped her cheeks in both of his hands and started kissing her mouth again, pushing his tongue past the seam of her lips and plunging in deep.

  “I need to be just as naked as you are, Hannah,” he murmured against her mouth.

  With fumbling hands, she reached between them and started undoing his pants. But he was impatient and sat up, getting undressed quickly. And then they were pressed together naked, his cock hard against her belly and the tip slickened with his pre-cum. She gasped at the sensation overload.

  “You feel so good.” He slid his hands down her sides, moved one of them to cup her ass, and had the other one right over her pussy. The act, touch, was so possessive. A moan left her when he speared his fingers through her soaked folds, and the gruff sound he made had her heart beating faster.

  “You’re mine, Hannah, and there isn’t anything or anyone that will change that.”

  Nerd started moving his fingers through her folds, rubbing her back and forth slowly until she curled her toes and felt her eyes roll back in her head for how good he made her feel. She didn’t think about anything but being in this moment with the man she loved.

  “Fuck, you’re so wet for me, so ready, Hannah baby,” he murmured against her throat as he continued to move his fingers up and down. She didn’t know if he was aware of the low grunts he made, or the fact he was pushed his dick against her stomach, but God were those things hot.

  She was really doing this, and she didn’t want to stop, didn’t want to let anything ruin this moment.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Up until this moment, Nerd had been convinced that Weasel had been wrong. Claiming her lips, he slid his tongue into Hannah’s mouth and instead of her tensing up, she kissed him right back. Her fingers sank into his hair, and all the months she had been away faded into nothing, having her with him. Sliding his hand down her side, he cupped her hip. She wrapped her leg around his hip, moaning as she did.

  “You make me crazy,” she said. “I want you so much, Nerd.”

  He reached behind her, cupping her ass, filling his hands with all of her curves. “You’re like a drug I’ve lived without for too long.”

  “Then have your fix, baby,” she said.

  After kissing her lips, he slid down to her neck, sucking on the pulse that was pounding rapidly. Her tits next caught his attention, and he cupped them, pressing them together, thumbing her large nipples.

  “Feels so good.”

  “It’s about to feel a hell of a lot better. Believe me.” Sucking one nipple into his mouth, he pinched the other, soothing out the burn with his palm. He glided his tongue between the valley of her tits to circle her other nipple. Nerd wasn’t one to leave the other out, and so he teased it with his fingers until she was squirming beneath him. He couldn’t get enough of her. This woman, she’d become stronger, and that strength within her was arousing him even more. She didn’t need a champion or a protector. Hannah needed a man who’d give her what she wanted, and he was more than happy to do it. No other man would ever be good enough for her.

  Nerd was going to give her everything she ever wanted. The garden was just the beginning. Nerd had plans for the both of them, and he intended to see them all through. Hannah was never going to know pain or hurt again.

  “I love you.” Kissing down her stomach, he cupped her tits in his hands before caressing down her sides to her thighs. Once he was poised above her pussy, he reached between them and opened the lips of her pussy, staring down at her pretty cunt. “You’re so wet.”

  “It’s all for you, Nerd. Always for you.”

  Sliding a finger between her slit, he moaned at seeing how damn wet she was. “Baby, you know how to welcome a man. This is one pretty sight.”

  “Please. I can’t take much more.”

  He made her wait. They had all the time in the world, and this time, their
first time, he wasn’t going to rush a thing. He wanted her begging, screaming till she was hoarse before he allowed her to come.

  Circling her clit, he eased down to her entrance, watching her body move toward him, seeking him out.

  Licking his fingers, he pinched her clit and as she screamed his name. He replaced his fingers with his mouth, sucking her nub hard. At the same time he was teasing her clit, he slid his fingers inside her. He started with one finger, finding her tight cunt. Pumping inside her, he flicked his tongue over her clit and waited for her pussy to grow a little softer before adding a second finger.

  “Oh God,” she said, moaning. “Please.”

  “You can beg all you want. I can make you wait.” His cock was so damn hard that it was hurting. Removing his fingers from her pussy, he wrapped them around his length, painting her cream over his stiff cock. “You see this, baby? I’m going to sink this so deep inside you, and I’m going to watch as your cream covers me. I want to fucking bask in it.”

  Fucking two fingers inside her, Nerd stretched her pussy, hoping to get her used to something bigger, seeing as his cock wasn’t small. He had a nice big cock, and he knew how to use it.

  Licking her clit, he moaned as her pussy clenched around his fingers, driving him mad for more.

  “I’ve been imagining this for so long.”

  He smiled.

  This was going to happen between them. He’d never doubted it, not even for a second. They were destined to find this together.

  He fucked her pussy, licked her clit, and felt each change inside her body. She opened up to him, flowering beneath his touch, showing him that she was so much more. He’d loved Hannah from the moment he’d set eyes on her, and he loved her still. That was never going to change, and nothing was going to take away from her what she’d gained.

  Hannah came screaming his name, and he wouldn’t stop. Nerd wasn’t ready to stop. He kept on sucking her clit, drawing out the pleasure and feeling the little quivers of her pussy as he did.

  Only when he was satisfied that she was ready for him and completely wet did he move up her body. He took hold of his cock and ran the tip through her creamy slit, soaking his dick ready.